March. One word: thrilling.
It started off slow or maybe not. Let me try my very best to recap the month in a couple of sentences. The first day of the month was a Sunday, and in this household that means our feet are firmly rooted in the house of the Lord, so I went to church. It so happened to be my friend Kristen’s birthday, so I crocheted a scarf for her and gave it to her when I went to church. Then came the independence of my home country, for which I made a crochet top to wear.
Oh and I got a scale. I am pleased to announce I maybe have lost a couple of pounds since I last got my weight checked at the hospital. Then the sun started giving us a glimpse of its light, and my soul became utterly content. Yes, then spring break came along, which afforded me the opportunity to go to Massachusetts. And then my paper got accepted, then came my birthday, and then starting to swim.
Spring Break & Chosen Family
Spring break gave me something I didn’t know I needed: time. Time to travel, time to breathe, time to just be. I got to spend it with my friend Dorothea and her son. It was emotional in the best way. I had a sleepover at her place, met her mom and dad, and we had brunch together. Simple things, but full things.
I am so grateful for family — and for friends who become family. I’m thankful for life.
The Paper Found a Home 🎉
On 18 March, while I was still on spring break, my professor reached out with news: my paper had been accepted.
I was overjoyed. Mind you, this paper had already gone through three rounds of rejections. Three. And to know that on the fourth try, it finally found a home, of course that called for celebration. I guess it’s safe to throw out there, “fourth time is a charm”.
I put on a crochet top I made and went out and got myself a cake. One thing I’m committed to doing throughout this PhD journey is celebrating every win, every milestone, every achievement no matter how small. So yes, my paper got accepted after three rejections, and I got a cake. (I would’ve gotten wine, but, maybe another time.)
I’m grateful. I’m thankful. And I’m grateful for every collaborator and for my advisor, who never gave up on me or on the work.
A word on rejections: There’s a real tendency to throw your hands in the air after your paper keeps getting rejected, multiple times. PhD is hard. Reviewers can be harsh, sometimes and that can be demoralizing. And there’s always the tendency that feedback starts to feel deeply personal. But as my advisor always says, that feedback isn’t directed at you as the author. It’s directed at the work, the research. Learning to separate yourself from your work is one of the most important mental shifts you can make in this season. Take the feedback seriously, apply it to the work, but don’t let it touch your identity.
I had told myself that if this paper came back rejected again, I was shelving it and moving on. But I also said a prayer that it would find a home. And it did.
It feels like something tangible to hold onto considering how worried I was for not having a publication considering I was in my third year. Finally, I can feel a tingle of progress in my bones, and that brings me so much joy.
Birthday Reflections
Now let’s talk about my birthday — or better still, what this last year has taught me.
- Find things you truly enjoy. That’s the first thing. As the years have gone on, I have genuinely come to love working out, crocheting, and honestly… my bed. Staying home, a comfort show playing in the background, just existing. I also love the library with a vibrant, colourful environment where I can sit and read, crochet, or just enjoy some quiet time (like the one I frequent). Finding things that genuinely bring you joy is key to surviving adult life.
- Learn to enjoy seasons alone. This is the other one. On my birthday, I made a reservation at a restaurant, put on a pretty dress, drove there, sat down, ordered my food, and just enjoyed. It was my birthday, so obviously there had to be cake, I got myself a cheesecake. Went to the bathroom, took pictures. I also love flowers, so I bought myself two bouquets. Because personally birthdays are incomplete without flowers, so I gifted myself some. And I love it.
I’m so glad that I get to enjoy seasons in my life even as someone who is single and hasn’t dated in a while. I enjoy my own company. I find things that bring me joy without needing someone else to make them happen for me. And maybe that’s what reduces over-reliance on other people. - Another thing I learnt the hard way is that: not all connections have to be perpetual to be meaningful. Be open to meet and encounter people and if somehow that connection abruptly ends or even end civilly, that is still a relevant connection to cherish regardless of how short-lived it was. Not everyone has permanence in your life.
- Oh, another one. Enjoy moments, experiences without having expectations or being hopeful for another. I know it’s a sad way to live but this has shielded me from so many disappointments. So what happens with hope is that, you wait with open arms. And the question is, what if another doesn’t come or happen?
Yes, the birthday! Booked a reservation, wore a pretty dress (necessary), and went on a solo date. And most importantly, picked up flowers, which personally, makes a birthday whole.
Trying Again: Swimming
On 27 March, I had my very first swim class with my friend Rob, who is such a gentle soul. I’m grateful for him and for our friendship. While I have had exposure to being a pool (my neighbor in Ghana had a pool in their house my siblings and I used frequently), I haven’t necessarily considered learning it or taking it seriously hence referring to it as “first swim class”. I guess “first” here is my saying I am taking it seriously this time.
So Rob and I and our friend Lydia went to Puerto Rico for summer vacation at some point, and the swimming situation there didn’t quite go as planned. So this time, I’m ready. I’m learning properly. I don’t know where our next vacation will take us, but I want to be ready to dip into the ocean and swim and not just stand on the side and watch.
Swimming is one of the skills I’m committing to this year. And then hopefully, I’ll pick up the guitar again. I do own one. Maybe it’s time to stop letting it collect dust. I get in swim position aided with a kick board and unaided for about 5 seconds. Its my hope that just as with anything in life, with continuous and consistent practice I will be able to ace this survival skill with time.
What This Blog Is Becoming
March is my very first monthly recap and that’s intentional. My goal is simple: even if I don’t publish anything else in a given month, I will at least have a monthly wrap. Worst case, that’s 12 posts a year. But I’m hoping for more.
Here’s what I’m working toward for this blog:
- Book synopses — I’m reading books I’d love to write about. Currently reading Broken Wings by Khalil Gibran, and it is stunning. Almost highlighted cover to cover. I cannot wait to write about it. Reading Notes from Underground as well by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Thats a heavy read. Safe to say, I enjoyed or enjoying the second half of the book to the first.
- Unsent Letters — a category I’m planning to create for pieces I’ve written that feel too personal to publish just yet. I’m working up the courage.
- Crochet posts — I’ve made pieces I’d love to share. Not tutorials (there are plenty of those on YouTube), just the finished work and the story behind it.
- Poems, writings and things I find beautiful — because why not.
I’m still figuring out how everything fits together creatively, but I’m excited about where it’s going.
Gratitude
March was incredibly kind, and I don’t take that lightly.
I’m thankful for the people who made it memorable: my family, my friends, my loved ones, everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I’m thankful for my advisor and collaborators. Most importantly, I’m grateful that the paper finally found a home. I’m thankful for cake and flowers and swim classes and slow mornings and all the small things that added up to something full.
And if you’re reading this, thank you for being here. I appreciate you making it all the way to the end.
Until next time. 🤍💞
